Married couples choose to divorce for countless reasons. Sometimes, spouses simply grow apart or realize that it was a mistake to get married in the first place. In these cases, spouses may not want to be married any longer, but they still have a high level of respect and concern for each other. On the other hand, some divorcing spouses are vengeful and combative. Divorces involving infidelity, deceit, domestic violence, or vindictiveness may require a very different approach than more amicable divorces. If you have reason to believe that your divorce might be hostile, you may wonder if there is anything you can do to start preparing yourself now.  

Consider a Guardian Ad Litem

Continuous divorces between parents may involve strong disagreements about child custody and visitation, which are called “the allocation of parental responsibilities” and “parenting time” in Illinois. Illinois courts make decisions in these areas based on what is in the child’s best interests. Unfortunately, some parents may attempt to sway the court’s decision in their favor by misrepresenting themselves or lying about the other parent. In some child custody disputes, a Guardian Ad Litem is assigned to the case to represent the children’s best interests and uncover the true facts of the case. The Guardian Ad Litem may do this by conducting interviews, evaluating parents’ homes and interactions with children, and analyzing financial information. You may want to request a Guardian Ad Litem if you have concerns about your spouse’s parenting abilities or if you want your child to have a specially-trained advocate.

Mediation May Not Be Your Best Option

Some divorcing couples who disagree about property division, child custody, spousal support, or other divorce terms are able to work out a solution to their disagreements through mediation. During divorce mediation, parties agree to work with a qualified mediator, negotiate in good faith, and collaborate with experts in order to reach a resolution. However, if there is a major power imbalance between the spouses, or if a spouse refuses to have reasonable discussions about divorce-related disagreements, mediation may not be a viable choice. It may be better for spouses to consult with their respective attorneys and formulate a divorce strategy personalized to their unique set of challenges.

Social media websites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have revolutionized the way we communicate with each other, so it may not surprise you that social media is increasingly influential in divorce cases. A large percentage of divorcing couples name Facebook or another social media website as a contributing factor in the breakdown of their marriage. Social media activity can also have a tremendous impact during divorce and child custody proceedings. If you are considering divorce, you should know that the pictures, videos, and text you post on social media has the potential to significantly impact your divorce.

Social Media Posts Can Reveal Financial Information

Many people do not realize it, but text messages, email messages, and social media posts are admissible evidence in divorce proceedings that may even be subpoenaed. One way that social media often influences divorce is when a spouse shares something that reveals information about his or her finances. Decisions about child support, spousal maintenance, and property division are all largely based on the spouses’ financial circumstances. If a spouse is underreporting his or her income or assets in an attempt to gain financial advantage during divorce, social media posts may expose this deception. For example, if a husband claims that he cannot afford spousal maintenance payments but then posts a picture of a luxury car he just purchased, this could be used as evidence that he is lying about his true financial situation.

Social Media Can Affect Parental Responsibilities and Parenting Time

Divorcing parents often have disagreements about child custody and visitation which is officially called the “allocation of parental responsibilities” and “parenting time” in Illinois. There are several ways that social media posts can influence child custody matters. For example, imagine a scenario in which a husband and wife each want to have the majority of parenting time with the children. If the wife posts pictures of herself going out to bars several nights of the week when she is allegedly caring for the children, this could call into question her desire and ability to take on a large amount of parental responsibility. It is important to remember that even if you have your social media account set to “private,” there are still many ways that your social media activity could be used against you during divorce proceedings. The best way to avoid negative consequences from social media during divorce may be to simply take a break from social media websites until the divorce is finalized.

Although the overall U.S. divorce rate has been gradually falling over the past few decades, there is one group of people who are getting divorced at a much higher rate. The number of married individuals divorcing after age 50 has increased twofold since 1990. Divorce involving older spouses, nicknamed “gray divorce,” comes with a variety of special challenges – both personal and financial. If you are considering divorce, and you are over the age of 50, you should speak to an experienced divorce lawyer to find the specific course of action that is right for you.

Financial Considerations During Gray Divorce

In Illinois, marital property, meaning property accumulated by either spouse during the marriage, is subject to equitable division during divorce. Typically, the older a person is, the more property and wealth they have accumulated. If you are planning to divorce after the age of 50, you may have investments, pensions and retirement accounts, valuable art or antiques, or other assets that must be divided between you and your spouse. 

In the majority of gray divorces, pension benefits are considered part of the marital estate. This means that one spouse may be entitled to a portion of the other spouse’s pension upon retirement. IRAs, 401(k)s, or other types of retirement accounts are also typically divided during divorce. This is usually accomplished through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO).

Domestic violence is taken very seriously in Illinois, and victims of abuse can protect their safety and that of their children or other family members by obtaining an order of protection. An emergency order of protection (EOP) can be granted to a person based on his or her testimony alone, and it goes into effect immediately. The respondent (the subject of the order of protection) does not need to be present in order for the petitioner to be granted an EOP. An EOP lasts up to 21 days and typically prohibits the respondent from contacting or coming within a certain distance of the petitioner. A restraining order may also prohibit the respondent from seeing or contacting his or her children, and it may require him or her to surrender any firearms. If you are the subject of a protection order during divorce, there are several crucial steps you should take.

Follow the Directions Contained in the Order of Protection

Restraining orders offer important protections to actual victims of domestic violence. Unfortunately, an order of protection may be obtained by a petitioner who does not actually need protection. A bitter spouse may get an order of protection during a contentious divorce in an attempt to gain an advantage during divorce proceedings – especially those involving child custody. Even if the order of protection your spouse obtained against you was based on false allegations, it is essential to follow the directions contained in the order. Do not confront your spouse or violate other terms of the order. Instead, contact an attorney immediately to determine your best options for defending against the accusations and protecting your rights.

Attend the Plenary Hearing to Tell Your Side of the Story

If your spouse wants to extend the protection period after the EOP expires, he or she will need to attend a court hearing and request a more permanent type of order called a plenary order of protection. The plenary hearing is your opportunity to defend yourself against your spouse’s accusations. When preparing for this hearing, you will want to gather evidence such as text messages, call logs, and documents that support your testimony. Find witnesses who can confirm your side of the story and are willing to testify in court. Your attorney will use witness testimony and other evidence to argue on your behalf during the hearing.

Marriages end for countless reasons. Sometimes, spouses get divorced because they both agree that the marriage is simply no longer working. In other cases, only one spouse wants to divorce, while the other spouse believes that the marriage is still salvageable. If you are ready to end your marriage, and your spouse does not want to get divorced, it is important to know that he or she cannot stop you from filing for divorce. However, when a spouse does not agree to the divorce, he or she may take actions that could delay and complicate the divorce. Fortunately, you have options if your spouse refuses to cooperate with the divorce process.  

Spouses Who Do Not Respond

The only grounds for divorce in Illinois is “irreconcilable differences,” and either spouse may name this as the reason he or she is petitioning the court for a dissolution of marriage. The person who files the Petition For Dissolution Of Marriage is called the petitioner, and the other spouse is the respondent. During the divorce filing process, a court hearing will be scheduled. The petitioner is responsible for making arrangements to serve notice of the petition and the hearing to the respondent. The respondent has 30 days to respond to the notice, and his or her response may state why he or she disagrees that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. If the respondent does not respond and does not show up to the hearing, the petitioner has the opportunity to request a default judgment granting his or her requests for how matters such as child custody and property division will be handled during the divorce. The court may schedule a default judgment hearing in order to give the respondent a second chance to participate. If the respondent does not attend this second-chance hearing, the court will typically grant the petitioner a default judgment.

Spouses Who Cannot Be Found

In some cases, an uncooperative spouse may hide from the petitioner or the individual serving the notice of the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage in an attempt to prevent the divorce. You can still be granted a divorce if your spouse is missing, but you must take certain steps. You will typically need to show that you: