Three Tips for Parents Who Want Structured Holiday Co-Parenting

 Posted on December 07, 2021 in Divorce

It is no secret that parenting during the holidays is difficult, especially in the first few years following a divorce. On top of gift shopping, work events, family parties, and children’s school schedules, trying to create a co-parenting plan during the holidays can seem next to impossible. A practical parenting plan can reduce everyone’s stress during this busy time, and even if you and your former spouse cannot agree on much, you can likely agree on that. Here are three tips for sensible, structured holiday co-parenting that can help make things easier for everyone. 

Make a Plan and Stick To It

There is an old saying - “Done is better than perfect” - and in this case, it is true. Create a concrete schedule for where children will be and when they will be there, and who is responsible for picking up and dropping them off. You do not have to like every detail of the plan, but when you know what to expect, confusion and conflict will be minimized. Keep in mind that the parenting plan you created for your children when they were very young will likely not meet their needs as they get older. If you need to adjust your parenting plan, consult an attorney before making changes. Failing to follow your parenting plan without consent from your spouse and a court-approved agreement in place can get you in legal trouble. 

Keep a Routine

You cannot do things exactly the same as you did after divorce, and trying to force a false sense of sameness can be hard on your kids. Understand that things are different and that your children may have stressed or uncharacteristic behaviors. You may also find yourself feeling lost or unexpectedly sad. All of this is normal, but having a routine can help make things feel more normal. If you can, work with your former spouse to establish similar bedtimes, diets, and rules about screen time. If one parent’s home is based on routine and the other parent’s home is a free-for-all, problems are bound to crop up. 

Coordinate Your Gifts

After divorce, parents often feel pressure to compete with each other for their children’s time, love, and admiration. Buying expensive gifts may seem like an easy way to do this, but it is an ineffective way to cover up the fact that things have changed. Even if the kids are happy to receive the gifts, they are a poor substitute for genuine love and support. Divorced parents can work together to set budgets and expectations so they can avoid buying the same items or feeling as though they get out-gifted every year. 

Meet with a DuPage County Parenting Plan Lawyer

The Wheaton, IL parenting plan attorneys with The Stogsdill Law Firm, P.C. know how important it is to preserve stability and tradition during the holidays. For help creating or modifying a parenting plan that reflects a sensible arrangement for you and your children, schedule an initial consultation at our conveniently located Naperville Road office. Call us today at 630-462-9500. 

Source: 

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt%2E+VI&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8675000&SeqEnd=12200000