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Recent Blog Posts
Examining the Most Common Mistakes Women Make During Divorce
Family dynamics have changed significantly over the last few decades, but there are still areas where women remain at a disadvantaged. One prime example is when they embark on divorce. Thankfully, women can mitigate against their risks in divorce. The key is to know what the most common mistakes are, and how to avoid them. The following explains further and provides some details on where to find assistance.
Understanding the Potential Risks
Women have become fully integrated into the workforce, but there are still some that choose to remain home. Some do so to care for children. Others do so because they have no need to work. Still, others simply may not have the education or skills to secure gainful employment. Whatever the reason for not being employed outside the home, these women are at a serious risk for financial disadvantages after the divorce.
The risk for women increases even further if they have not actively participated in the management of her marital finances. Not only does it make it difficult for her to know what she might be entitled to, but it also puts her at risk of asset hiding or dissipation. Without proper documentation, certain assets could also be undervalued, which decreases the overall value of her marital estate and affects her divorce settlement.
What is a No-Fault Divorce, and Why Does It Matter?
The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA) underwent a substantial overhaul in 2016, but many couples still do not fully understand what these changes mean. More specifically, the impact and implications of a "pure" no-fault divorce are often misunderstood. Learn more about no-fault divorces, including what they are and why it matters.
Dividing Legal and Emotional Aspects of Divorce
Before the changes to the IMDMA occurred, couples had to provide a reason for divorce. Moreover, the term "irreconcilable differences" only applied when it could be determined that the marriage was irretrievably broken, or that reconciliation was not in the family's best interest. As such, divorces often brought up emotional elements that hindered the legal process, pitted one spouse against the other, and caused unnecessary contention in the courtroom.
Now, with no-fault divorce, the reason is no longer relevant. Instead, the courts have separated the emotional element of divorce from the legal process. Doing so has helped many couples find their way to an amicable split, which is highly preferred since it can improve the overall outcome for all involved parties - particularly children.
Money Troubles in Marriage May Lead to a Contentious Divorce
Arguments, disagreements, or even silent troubles over money in marriage are extremely common in America. That is because most couples are not sure how to broach the subject, yet even those who attempt to work through their money issues often feel as if at least one of them always walks away from the conversation feeling angry, hurt, taken advantage of, or ignored. Unfortunately, if the issues are never resolved, the couple then becomes at an increased risk for divorce. Worse yet, the issues that plagued them in marriage may also find their way into the courtroom.
Divorce Rarely Eliminates Money Troubles
If money has been a problem in your marriage, then it is likely that it will continue to be an issue during your divorce. Part of this is due to the very nature of divorce - the way it pits one party against another - but it can also be a lingering symptom of unhealthy money habits, behaviors, and conversations. For example, if one party is a saver and the other prefers to spend, then there one spouse may need to take steps to prevent dissipation of the marital estate. Alternatively, if the couple regularly argued over the contributions that a stay-at-home parent made, their work may continue to be devalued by their spouse in the divorce proceedings.
Tips for Creating a Post-Divorce Financial Plan
Divorce is more than just severing marital ties; it is also a new start. For some, that new start could be exactly what is needed to advance a career or grow a business. However, one should be aware that there are many financial risks tied to divorce. As such, it is crucial to start building a post-divorce financial plan as soon as reasonably possible. The following information can help you get started. It also provides you with insight into the divorce process and its potential pitfalls.
Examine Your Finances and Expenses
In marriage, you and your spouse likely shared income and expenses. Post-divorce, the income you earn will be yours, but so will your expenses. As such, it is crucial that you know what money you have coming in and what you are paying out. Perhaps even more important is knowing where that money is going; knowing this can help you shave off the excess. For example, if you are the one that pays the cable bill, but you rarely watch television, you can remove it from your planned monthly expenditures.
Could Divorce Negatively Impact a Child's Health?
Although the divorce rate has fallen over the last several years, there are still many families that separate each year. When a child is at the center of that family, parents often worry if the divorce will negatively impact the mental and emotional health of their child. Countless studies suggest this could be the case, including a recent one that was supported by the National Institute for Mental Health, but there may be less to worry about than the experts let on - especially if parents know how to mitigate against the possible risks.
Examining the Possible Impact of Divorce
Society often thinks of children as "resilient" and capable of overcoming the obstacles they face early in life. On one hand, there is some truth to that. On the other hand, there is a real risk of emotional trauma. For example, children who experience parental alienation may experience long-term complications, such as disdain for the alienated parent. Alternatively, the child may have a sense that there is something wrong with them because they still love the alienated parent, despite all the "horrible" things they have allegedly done. As a result, the child may be prone to depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem.
Family Violence or Parental Alienation? The Answer is Rarely Clear
Family violence and abuse are not a new issue in divorce cases. Many parents have had to fight to protect their children from a violent spouse. In contrast, parental alienation is a new concept in family court. However, some experts say the issue has been around as long as divorce (if not longer). Still, other psychologists believe parental alienation is nothing more than a clever defense for abusive parents - a way for them to control and punish an already beaten-down spouse. Sometimes, the latter is correct, but determining whether a case is a matter of family violence or parental alienation is rarely easy.
Parental Alienation as a Defense for Abuse
It is true that there are documented cases in which parental alienation was used as a defense strategy for an abusive parent. Retaliation and control are often the game, and the individuals who play it know how to win. They use every strategy possible. They hire bulldog attorneys that demonize an abuse victim. They propose family reunification camps that, to date, lack any evidence of efficacy. Some even issue threats to the child to encourage them to play along.
Slow and Steady - What You Can Expect from the Divorce Planning Process
Some divorcing couples experience few obstacles, challenges, and contention and end up completing the process relatively quick. Others struggle tremendously with concerns over how their business, children, or marital estate will be divided. They endure heated arguments, asset hiding, or a depreciation of their marital assets. In these situations, and others like them, slow and steady may be the optimal pace. Learn more about divorce planning, including what it is and what you can expect from the process.
What is Divorce Planning?
Divorce planning is all about hoping for the best but planning for the worst. It helps you prepare to make difficult decisions using logic instead of emotion. You consider the challenges that you might face, and you take steps to mitigate against them before they occur. More importantly, you feel more confident as you move through the divorce process.
Taking the First Steps
Before moving forward, it is important to prepare. You will need a clear understanding of your debts and assets, including those that belong to your spouse. Gather documents related to all bank accounts, loans, credit cards, real estate, paychecks, retirement accounts, insurance policies, titles or mortgages, and income taxes. You should also know what your credit looks like, so you will need a copy of your credit report. All this information should be kept in a safe place so that they do not disappear.
A Word of Caution: Beware of Tax Issues on the Assets You Receive in Divorce
When going through a divorce, couples often struggle to see anything past the present situation. Part of this is due to the emotionally stressful and overwhelming nature of divorce itself. However, there are often other factors at play. For example, divorcing parties may not be fully aware of the tax implications of the assets they receive in divorce, or they may not consider what could happen if they eventually sell an asset they receive. Unfortunately, that type of short-sidedness can have grave financial consequences. Learn more with help from the following.
Recurring Taxation After Divorce
Certain assets, like real estate, are taxed on a recurring basis. If you receive a distribution of these assets in the divorce decree, you then become responsible for their recurrent tax. Before you accept a divorce settlement, carefully consider the tax implications of each asset, you are asking for in the divorce. Your divorce attorney and a financial advisor can give you more insight on your specific situation and circumstances.
Dealing with a Wasteful Spouse During Divorce
With divorce comes the division of debts and assets. For many couples, this can be a contentious issue. However, it may be made worse if one divorcing party has a spending problem. Assets can be depleted, sometimes significantly, which can result in a decreased settlement. Be it an intentional depletion of assets or a simple issue with knowing how to budget and spend accordingly, the following information can help you deal with a wasteful spouse during a divorce.
Why Continued Sharing of an Account May be Necessary
On the one hand, the solution to asset depletion might seem simple: just stop sharing accounts. Unfortunately, this is not always an option. In some cases, it may be difficult to untangle joint assets. As such, the assets may need to be shared until the divorce is finalized. In other cases, one of the spouses may be caring for the children but not have enough to support them; since the children should not have to suffer, sharing of assets may be required.
When and How You Tell Your Spouse About the Divorce Can Impact the Outcome
The decision to divorce is rarely made in a day. In fact, it is not uncommon to spend months or years deliberating and wrestling with the possibility of ending a marriage. Unfortunately, this means that some may become impatient to move forward with their lives. As such, they may move too quickly through the divorce process, upset their spouse, and ultimately create a negative divorce experience. Thankfully, there is a better way.
Remember That You Had a Head Start
One of the most common mistakes that deciding parties make is they forget that they have already had a head start in dealing and coping with the idea of divorce. Your spouse, who may not have even been aware of your unhappiness, has not had this advantage. They may be shocked. They may get upset or angry. At the very least, they may be in an emotionally fragile state. As such, it is recommended that you carefully consider your words, your timing, and your response to the possible reactions of your spouse.











