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3 Co-Parenting Tips to Help Reduce Stress During and After Divorce
If you are a parent who is considering divorce, or if you have already started the process of ending your marriage, you probably have concerns about how you will share parental responsibilities and parenting time with your ex-spouse. Understandably, it can be very difficult for newly-divorced parents to jointly raise their children. It takes a great deal of teamwork, patience, and creativity to find a co-parenting strategy that works for your unique family situation. Fortunately, experts have several pieces of advice that may help divorced parents share parenting roles in a way that decreases stress for everyone.
Embrace Technological Assistance
There are a good number of applications, websites, and other resources that divorced parents can benefit from. Some parents find that sharing a Google calendar can help them stay on track with parenting time schedules. Others use an app such as Cozi, Coparently, or OurFamilyWizard to organize parent and child schedules, keep track of school events, share information about expenses, and more. Often, the most difficult part of co-parenting is communicating with your ex. Using technology to connect can make the process easier and more organized.
How Can I Change My Child Support Obligation?
Child support ensures that unmarried or divorced parents share the financial responsibilities of raising a child. Illinois courts calculate child support payments using the "income shares" model, and the amount of child support to be paid is based on the income of both parents, the amount of parenting time each parent has, and a number of other factors. If either parent wishes to change the child support order once it has been entered, he or she must petition to court to make this change.
Requesting a Child Support Modification
Illinois child support orders can only be modified under certain circumstances. Child support orders are eligible for a modification review every three years. Parents can also request a modification if they can prove that a major change in circumstances necessitates the modification. Illinois courts have broad discretion to decide what constitutes a substantial change in circumstances. Some of the most common reasons that parents request a child support modification include:
What Are the Grounds for Divorce in Illinois?
If you are considering divorce, you may have heard about the different “grounds” or reasons that a person can give when seeking to dissolve their marriage. Traditionally, these grounds have included an identification of which spouse was at fault for the breakdown of the marriage. Of course, marriages end for a wide variety of reasons, and identifying a specific cause for the failure of the relationship is not always easy. Sometimes, a couple simply grows apart or stops being in love with each other. Updates to Illinois law have now taken this reality into consideration with regard to the grounds for divorce.
Previous Illinois Grounds for Divorce
Before major changes were made to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA), anyone wishing to get divorced in Illinois would need to identify grounds for their divorce. These grounds included several “fault” grounds which included but were not limited to:
What Should Be Considered When Getting Divorced After a Long Marriage?
You may be surprised to learn that “gray divorce,” or divorce involving older individuals, is on the rise. According to the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate for people over the age of 50 has doubled in the last two decades, and the divorce rate for people over age 65 has tripled. Many of these older couples are ending marriages which lasted 20 years or more. Often, the longer a marriage lasted, the more complex the divorce will be. When a couple divorces after being married for a significant amount of time, there are special considerations they must keep in mind.
The Lesser-Earning Spouse May Be Entitled to Spousal Maintenance
Spousal maintenance, also called spousal support or alimony, are funds paid by one spouse to the other after divorce. The purpose of alimony is to help the lesser-earning spouse avoid any unfair financial consequences of ending their marriage. There are a number of factors considered by Illinois courts when determining whether or not a spouse will receive spousal maintenance. The length of the marriage, the age and health of each spouse, and the financial circumstances of both parties are some of these factors. Spousal support is most often awarded when one spouse sacrificed his or her career to act as a homemaker or stay-at-home parent or has otherwise been out of the workforce for a significant amount of time. If you are getting divorced after a long marriage, it is possible that you or your spouse may be required to pay maintenance.
Co-Parenting Strategies During a High-Conflict Divorce
While nearly every divorce has some degree of contentiousness, a high-conflict divorce can be especially volatile. High levels of conflict can be the result of two spouses who are unwilling or unable to cooperate, or they can be caused by one spouse who is especially resentful of the other. When parents decide to end their marriage, they must consider how they will share parental responsibility and parenting time. Making these decisions can be nearly impossible without court intervention if the parents cannot effectively communicate with each other.
During a high-conflict divorce involving parents, it is often the children who suffer most. Fortunately, there are many resources and strategies available to parents that experts say can reduce the emotional turmoil of a high-conflict divorce for everyone involved. These include:
What Issues Can Invalidate an Illinois Prenuptial Agreement?
Although television and movies have sometimes presented prenuptial agreements (also known as prenups) in a negative way, there are a multitude of benefits to drafting a premarital or prenuptial agreement. Not only does a prenup protect the financial interests of both spouses, it also helps facilitate open communication about financial expectations before the couple gets married. However, it is important to remember that prenuptial agreements must meet certain criteria in order to be legally enforceable. There are several problems which can invalidate a prenuptial agreement.
Premarital Agreements Must Be Written and Agreed to By Both Parties
Studies show that disagreements about money are among the most common reasons couples get divorced. Having an open and honest conversation about financial expectations before walking down the aisle is one way to avoid financial disagreements during the marriage. In a prenuptial agreement, couples will decide how they will handle issues such as property division and spousal maintenance (alimony) if they end up divorcing. The agreement can also contain information about how debts will be distributed in the event of divorce. The prenuptial agreement cannot be a verbal contract; it must be written and signed by both spouses.
What Are the Options When Divorcing Parents Disagree About Child Custody?
Often, when parents divorce, one of the biggest sources of contention is how they will share the allocation of parental responsibility, or child custody. Parents who get divorced in Illinois are required to submit a parenting agreement or parenting plan to the court which details how they plan to share custody of their children. Parents have the opportunity to formulate a unique parenting plan which works for them, but in some cases, parents cannot agree to a custody or parenting time schedule. When parents disagree about child custody issues, they have several options under Illinois law.
Mediation Can Help Parents Come to an Agreement About Child Custody
Illinois courts may order parents to undergo mediation in order to help them create a parenting plan to address custody issues, or parents may elect to undergo mediation on their own accord. Mediation involves the parents meeting with a neutral third party mediator to discuss how parental responsibility will be shared. The mediator does not tell the parents what to do, but instead helps facilitate productive conversation between the parents so that they can reach a compromise regarding child custody. It is important to note that mediation may not be an appropriate choice for parents with a history of domestic violence or abuse. Furthermore, if parents cannot negotiate or discuss child custody issues without devolving into arguments or hostility, mediation may prove fruitless.
What Technology-Related Issues Do I Need to Address During My Divorce?
Divorce can be a difficult, stressful process. Addressing the complex issues involved in separating from your spouse and beginning your newly-single life can be overwhelming. As you work to resolve the various legal concerns and practical matters that arise during the divorce process, you may not realize that certain other aspects of your life will also be affected. One concern that can sometimes fall by the wayside is your use of technology, online services, and social media. During the divorce process, it is a good idea to comb through your online presence and consider the devices and systems you use and how these will be affected. Here are some issues to consider:
Reset Your Passwords
Whether your divorce is contentious or amicable, it is a good idea to change your passwords immediately to ensure that nobody else can access your accounts. A password generator can be used to create strong, completely random passwords that will provide the best level of security. This will prevent your ex-spouse from guessing any passwords that may be based on personal information (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.). If you need help remembering passwords, you can write them down in a notebook or save them on your phone where only you will be able to see them.
How to Keep Your Divorce From Affecting Your Performance at Work
Going through a divorce can be rough. Not only does it affect your relationship and your children, but it can also have an impact on other aspects of your life. When dealing with legal issues, paperwork, court dates, and financial concerns, it is likely that your divorce will spill over into other areas, and it could become an issue at your workplace. While the end of your marriage is likely to be stressful, the last thing you need is for it to affect your career, and you will want to avoid any threats to your income and financial stability. However, with proper preparation, you can maintain a proper balance between your work and your personal life. By following these tips, you can ensure that your work will not be negatively affected:
Inform the Proper People About Your Situation
Discussions about your divorce are not good “watercooler talk.” You do not want to inflict the struggles you are facing in your personal life on everyone in your office with a listening ear. However, it can be hard to keep all your concerns bottled up inside, especially if you are concerned that the stress you are facing may have an impact on your work performance. Telling your HR manager and/or your supervisor about your divorce will help them understand what is going on, and they may offer compassion and give you more leeway if you need to leave the office early or take the afternoon off in order to go to court. If you are close to one or more of your coworkers, you may wish to confide in them, but it is best to do so in a private setting, either on breaks or outside of the workplace.
3 Tips For Maintaining Financial Stability During Your Divorce
The choice to get a divorce can be a difficult decision to make, but it can ultimately be a positive step that allows you to leave a relationship that is not working and begin a fresh start to your life. As you begin taking the steps to file for divorce, it is important to be prepared for the changes that you will experience in your life. Divorce can cause a variety of difficulties for your personal finances if you are not careful. However, if you go into your divorce with a clear head and a qualified divorce lawyer, you will have a much better chance of coming out of your marriage in a stable position. As you proceed with the divorce process, here are some tips to help keep your finances in order:
Make a Budget
Your life will change in many ways after your divorce has been finalized. You will likely be in a different living situation, and you may need to make adjustments in order to be able to support yourself on a single income. You can ensure that you will be able to maintain financial stability by making a projected budget of your living expenses after the divorce. This should include rent or mortgage payments, utility bills, health insurance, auto or renter's insurance, groceries, gasoline, and any other regular expenditures. If the income you earn will not fully cover all of your expenses, you may need to find new living arrangements or determine other ways you can cut costs.











