Posted on July 06, 2018 in Divorce

Going through the process of divorce can be an incredibly difficult time for families. Parents may face the prospects of a new life away from their partner, while children struggle with the separation of their parents. In many cases, divorce can be especially painful for children. For both young and adolescent children, divorce represents a massive change in life. Children are forced to accept the separation of their parents, an alteration of their standard living situation, and the potential for new spousal figures in the future.

Long-term mental health ramifications for children going through a divorce can include depression, paranoia, and anxiety. In severe cases, these symptoms can manifest into substance abuse, eating disorders, and even self-harm, later in life. For these reasons, and many more, it is crucial that parents understand how to help their children come to terms with the divorce. Consider the following tactics geared to help you help your children through the divorce process.

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 Posted on July 05, 2018 in Child Custody

Despite widely held misconceptions that fathers cannot be awarded custody during a divorce settlement, fathers do end up with custody of their children in many cases. While the vast majority of courts will lean towards joint custody as the optimal parenting strategy after a divorce, it is unlawful for courts to show bias against fathers looking to gain sole or substantial joint custody.

Inherent biases, however, can still find their way into courtrooms, and fathers still seem to struggle to gain custody at the same rate as mothers. According to the United States Department of Commerce, roughly 17 percent (or one in every six) of custodial parents are fathers.

If you are in the midst of a divorce settlement, it is important to know how to prepare yourself for the courtroom. Preparation is especially critical for fathers fighting for substantial custodial privileges. With that in mind, listed below are simple tactics that can help you prepare you for a custodial court hearing.

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 Posted on June 22, 2018 in Divorce

The time has come to move forward with the divorce process. You and your spouse are on the same page, but you have one last thing to do: Discuss the future with your children.

It's only natural to be nervous, as you don't want to say anything that will upset your children or make them believe they did something wrong.

Telling your children about your divorce can be a challenge, but there are tips you can follow to remove some of the stress:

• Have a plan for what you are going to say. You shouldn't go into the conversation with no idea of what you want to talk about, as this could lead you down a bad path.
• Keep your child's age in mind. The way you discuss divorce with a 5-year-old won't be the same as a 12-year-old. You need to remember this as you plan for your discussion.
• Choose a good time to talk. You need to leave enough time in your schedule to discuss anything and everything that comes to light, so make sure you choose the right time.

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 Posted on June 22, 2018 in Child Custody

After you do the hard work of putting together a parenting plan with your child's other parent, you may face a number of complications when it comes to putting the plan into practice. Some of these may be logistical hurdles, while others are complications brought on by the other parent refusing to properly abide by the guidelines of the parenting plan.

Should the other parent choose to disobey the parenting plan, you may have legal grounds to enforce the terms and protect your rights and privileges as a parent. Depending on the specifics of the circumstances, the other parent may be engaging in parenting time interference, which the courts tend to take very seriously.

What is direct interference?

Direct parenting time interference occurs when one parent's actions -- or lack of action -- deprives the other parent of the time he or she is entitled to per the parenting plan. This can happen in a number of ways, including not meeting up to drop off the child with the other parent.

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 Posted on June 22, 2018 in Divorce

Halloween is just around the corner. If you are divorced and share custody of your children, Halloween can be the beginning of a busy and challenging season for your family. How can parents create a better environment for their kids during the holiday season?

Stories of fighting with your ex over holiday schedules and managing school activities are common. However, don't believe everything you hear from your friends. Every divorce is different, and every parent's relationship with their ex is different.

Tips for parenting with your ex

Parents can make the holidays more enjoyable for the whole family by actively communicating with each other. This can take time and practice, but it can result in better co-parenting in the long run. Here are a few tips to make ring Halloween and the holidays:

• Be respectful of each other's feelings: Maintain focus on your children and avoid bringing up issues that led to your divorce.

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 Posted on June 14, 2018 in Divorce

Some people may reflect on the end of a marriage as a personal failure. However, experts challenge people to reframe the concept of marriage and divorce. A marriage that ends in divorce may be considered successful if it has helped both parties grow as individuals. When an individual in Illinois contemplates divorce, he or she can feel that the move is a success and may then be able to focus on the strategies of effectively closing out a marriage.

Some couples therapists share the opinion that marriage is designed to help people grow, and that the result of that growth for some individuals is that they grow out of the marriage. There are a myriad of reasons why a person would choose to move on rather than spend time working on repairing the relationship. He or she just may not have the time, energy or mental bandwidth to go on with the same person, and another approach may be a better fit.

When individuals are able to embrace change, they may be surprised to find an even better outcome than before. A divorce can represent the fact that an individual had the self-awareness to step out of a situation that was not working, or was able to take steps to relieve suffering. The marriage may have even uncovered parts of the personality that the person was not aware of before entering the marriage.

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 Posted on June 07, 2018 in Child Custody

One of the biggest questions parents struggle with during a divorce is, "Will I lose time with my kids?" Shared custody may feel like an appropriate choice to address this concern, and indeed it is a valid choice for many families in Illinois. Still not sure if it's the best option for your family? Here's a few things to consider for your child custody agreement.

Shared physical custody allows both parents to spend approximately equal time with their children. This can be a good option for families that have both parents actively involved in child rearing. However, in situations where one parent took on the primary role of care giver while the other remained less involved, shifting to a situation where the less-involved parent is expected to increase the level of involvement might be difficult.

Even if both parents played active roles in their children's lives, they each should also consider their relationship with their ex. If their divorce was excessively difficult and a significant amount of animosity toward one another remains, sharing custody can be stressful for their children. Significant differences in parenting philosophies may also cause issues with this type of arrangement.

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 Posted on June 01, 2018 in Family Law

It's now a trend with its own term. Gray divorce, a term used for individuals who end their marriage after they are 50 years of age or older, is rising, and more family law professionals are seeing clients who fit the category. In Illinois, these older couples separate with different issues than other couples who call it quits when they are younger.

Unlike couples with minor children, gray divorce individuals do not have the same needs for child custody and child support negotiations. Usually, the major issues of this type of marital dissolution are related to assets such as the home, investments and retirement plans. Individuals need to decide how the assets will be shared during a collaborative process, or they may need to have the matter settled by a judge.

Some of those with experience in the field say that divorces among older individuals are up and that the divorce rate has raised to 30 percent in this age group. Some say that it is the largest growing age section in their family law practice. Many couples report that the divorce was useful and that they harbor no bad blood against their ex-partner, but of course, this does not apply in every case.

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 Posted on May 24, 2018 in Divorce

A college education is one of the most significant costs for a parent raising a child. Many Illinois parents are able to save money for their children's college tuition through hard work and planning. If the parents decide to divorce, the breakup can affect the college fund. If there is only one pot to draw from, certain living expenses must come first.

A divorce can catch individuals off guard financially, but there are steps that can be taken in advance to reduce the threat of losing the college funds. In any case, ending a marriage will likely prompt individuals to review the college plans currently in place. If major financial changes are anticipated, the family may need to consider adjusting to financial changes and encourage lower cost options.

A 529 savings plan is a good way to save for a child's future college needs. The money in a 529 savings plan is not subject to taxes when it is used for valid educational purposes. If funds are already in a 529 plan, during a divorce, parents will be less likely to have to find the funds elsewhere, allowing them to use other savings and investments to finance two separate households.

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 Posted on May 18, 2018 in Child Custody

When Illinois couples decide to end their marriages and go their separate ways, the divorce process can be complicated - particularly if there are children involved. While most parents want what is best for their children, it could be challenging to balance the needs and schedules of the children with their own. Before making decisions about child custody, it might be best to understand the differences between joint and shared custody.

Although it is often perceived as the same thing, there are differences between the two types of custody. Shared custody allows each parent physical custody by providing food, shelter and care for 50 percent of the time. However, it is a flexible arrangement by which parents can agree on parenting plans that will also accommodate their own schedules. This type of child custody allows parents to determine whether the rights to make important decisions will be shared or allocated to one parent.

With joint custody, every aspect of the child's care and upbringing must be shared equally between the two parents. A continued good relationship between them is crucial because they will have to meet frequently to make joint decisions. This arrangement prohibits one parent to make any changes to important aspects of the child's life without the consent of the other parent. This includes health care, education, religion, extracurricular activities and more.

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