Every year, thousands of American couples choose to file for divorce. Divorce can be brought on for a multitude of reasons, but it does create complications in family dynamics. For couples with children, the decision to pursue a divorce can be incredibly difficult. Even more difficult is the conversation that parents must have with their children. If you are considering a divorce, involving your children in the divorce process can be critically important to their emotional development as well as their understanding of their new home life.

Why These Conversations Are Important

Approximately half of all American children will witness the separation of their parents. While divorce oftentimes represents a healthier growing environment in comparison to an unhealthy married household, parents contemplating divorce need to help their children understand why they are separating. Studies conducted have found that children who experience a divorce in the household are more likely to experience depression, decline academically, and struggle with substance abuse. Children who experience a divorce are more than twice as likely to drop out of high school. Even later in life, children of divorce are more likely to experience psychological challenges such as anxiety, loneliness, and insecurity. All that said, a divorce can save a child from experiencing an abusive or dysfunctional home life.

How To Talk To Your Child About Divorce

A divorce can be the best thing for a child’s long-term development if the parental unit no longer makes up a solid parenting foundation, yet it is vitally important to communicate with your child about your divorce. When you decide to inform your children on your decision to get a divorce, it is important to have a plan in place, have the conversation with your spouse, and give your child ample time to process the information.

When contemplating a divorce, parents have more to think about than just their relationship. While no one wants to stay in an unhealthy relationship, parents oftentimes choose to remain in toxic relationships, due to financial concerns, insecurity, and the wellbeing of their children. For many parents, the thought of a separation is quelled by the notion that they will no longer be able to support their children. Even those that believe they will receive child support payments have questions about their long-term ability to support their children’s dreams. No question is bigger than "Will I be able to help my child go to college?"

Fortunately, the state of Illinois has laws that can help sole-custody parents continue to receive child support for a non-minor child’s education expenses. If you want to help your child attend a quality university but are worried that your former spouse may not contribute, it may be time to contact a family law team that will represent your family’s best interest.

The Price of a College Education

College tuition prices have skyrocketed. The average 4-year private university costs approximately $50,000 per year. While tuition costs alone can seem insurmountable,  the modern college student is faced with ever-increasing room and board payments, transportation expenses, fees for books and supplies, and other financial obligations.

In the vast majority of marriages, fighting starts and ends in verbal quarrels. Still, there are thousands of marriages throughout the United States in which one spouse faces domestic abuse from their partner. Here in the state of Illinois, there are more than 40,000 adult survivors of domestic abuse, and approximately 8,000 child witnesses. While escaping a toxic domestic situation can be difficult, remaining in one can be dangerous for you and your children. If you experience domestic abuse, contact law enforcement personnel as soon as possible.

Domestic Violence Throughout the United States

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), more than ten million Americans face domestic abuse each year. Domestic abuse disproportionately impacts women, as approximately 1 in 3 women in the U.S. experience abuse in an intimate relationship. When facing domestic violence in a marital relationship, it is critically important for the victim to remove themselves from the situation. Victims of prolonged domestic abuse are more likely to face issues of post-traumatic stress, depression, and even thoughts of self-harm.

The Impact on Children

Studies conducted by the NCADV found that 1 in 15 American children witness domestic abuse in intimate relationships. The vast majority of these situations occur in parental relationships in which one spouse is abusing the other. Witnessing this type of dangerous domestic violence can have a profound impact on a child’s development, leading to post-traumatic stress, anxiety, and depression. While some spouses believe that remaining together can be positive for the children involved, this is certainly not the case in abusive relationships.

Here in the state of Illinois, divorce rates have steadily declined since the 1990’s. Still, hundreds of Illinoisans make the difficult decision to divorce from their spouse, every year. Nationwide, thousands of Americans get divorced on an annual basis. These divorces can be brought on by infidelity, unhealthy parenting dynamics, and a lack of love for the spouse. Yet, in many cases, the decision to pursue a divorce is considered due to one issue: the reckless and irresponsible spending of a spouse.

Staying in a relationship with a partner that recklessly spends money, can ultimately compromise the financial security of you and your family. If your partner, is behaving in a financially reckless manner, it may be time to consider contacting a divorce attorney.

Signs That Your Financial Health Is At Risk

Understanding when it is time to make an emotional relationship change based on financial security can be challenging. It is important to know when to get out of a financially reckless relationship before it is too late. If your partner begins making decisions that impact your savings or retirement, is spending large quantities of money without consulting you or is lying to you about the landscape of your financial future, it may be time to consider a divorce. Making the decision to remove yourself from a relationship based on finances, can feel cold, but after all other avenues have been explored, a divorce may be the right, and only, option.

In the aftermath of a divorce, both parties have a lot to contemplate: where will I live, will I be financially comfortable, what will happen to my children? In a large number of divorce cases involving children, one parent is granted primary custody of the children involved. For most of the parents granted primary custody of their children, receiving child support payments from their former spouse can make all the difference in ensuring a healthy financial future.

Tragically, less than 70% of all child support payments owed, are actually received by the spouse in need. If you are owed child support payments and your former spouse is unwilling to comply, it may be time to consider seeking the help of a team of legal professionals.

U.S. Child Support Statistics

In 2013 alone, over $32 billion in child support were owed to primary custody parents, throughout the United States. While many people falsely believe that child support payments are incredibly high and can be crippling to the spouse making the payments, the average annual child support payment is approximately $5,775, per year. That ultimately results to less than $500 per month in child support payments. Child support payments can make the ultimate difference in a child’s life, but many parents neglect to do their part. According to the United States Census Bureau, one in four primary custody parents awarded child support never receive the payments they are owed.