Couples do not get married with the intent of eventually filing for divorce, yet it happens to approximately 2,000 couples per year. A psychologist at the University of Washington and founder of the Gottman Institute says he and a colleague at the University of California at Berkeley can predict which ones it might happen to with an accuracy of about 93 percent. They reportedly did so by identifying four behaviors commonly found in the relationships of divorcing couples.

Contempt

Deemed the "kiss of death" by the study authors, contempt is a mixture of anger and disgust that goes well beyond that of frustration or negativity; you literally see your partner as beneath you, rather than your equal, and this can lead to all kinds of problems. Instead of feeling compassion or empathy when your partner makes a mistake, you close yourself off and consider yourself smarter, more sensitive than, or just outright better than your partner. And, because you have already decided that your spouse's opinions and feelings are not valid, you are highly unlikely to even attempt to see matters from his or her point of view.

Filing for divorce and undergoing the aftermath of the process takes an emotional toll on the whole family. Additional arrangements that come with separation such as parenting time (visitation), allocation of parental responsibilities (child custody), and child support can add to your stress levels significantly. If children are in the picture, all of these issues are important to the wellbeing of both you and your spouse, and of course, your children.

What Kind of Assistance is Available?

As a newly single parent, one of the most immediate concerns you likely have is financial support and how to secure the funds you need so you can continue to take care of yourself and your children. Illinois State offers child support services at no cost to you or your family. Should you need help verifying paternity for your child, or if you are unable to locate the non-custodial parent, The Department of Healthcare and Family Services (DHFS) can assist you. The division can also secure medical insurance for your children. You are not required to be signed up for public assistance to qualify for these services, and children who live in or out of the state are eligible.

Filing for a divorce should not be a spontaneous decision-a divorce can affect the rest of your life. Therefore, it is important that you make the appropriate preparations before you file paperwork with the court.

When you take the time to first consult with a lawyer you will better understand what to expect and will have the best chance at a favorable outcome.

Understanding the Different Issues

A divorce can be an emotional roller coaster. Not only are you officially ending a relationship, but you may also be fighting for your financial future and the future of your children. Therefore, before you file for divorce in Illinois, you will need to be prepared.

Planning Ahead

If you are planning on filing for divorce or you believe your spouse is planning to file, you will need to gather as many financial documents as you can. Important documents include bank statements, the last three years of your tax returns, statements for any retirement accounts, and any statements for debts.