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DuPage County order of protection attorneyWhen a couple chooses to get divorced, the best-case scenario involves them parting ways amicably while still maintaining respect for each other. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Some ex-partners can be dangerous, and it may seem difficult to remove them from one’s life even when the divorce is over. An ex-spouse may commit multiple different types of harassment, including electronic stalking. This can be a subtle but invasive method of stalking someone, and many people do not even know their privacy has been compromised until it is too late. If you are concerned that your ex-partner is stalking you, here are some tips to help protect your privacy and your safety.

Change Your Passwords

If you and your ex-partner shared accounts for email, social media, or other apps during your marriage, it is important to change the usernames and passwords of those accounts immediately. You should also take steps to remove your ex from any bank accounts or credit cards the two of you shared. Your ex-partner could still be using online apps or financial records to track your communications, your whereabouts, and your spending habits. Make sure you use a password that is not obvious to your ex-partner. Avoid the use of easy-to-guess references like your first pet or your middle name. Consider a password generator that provides a completely random sequence of unguessable characters.

Look Out for Stalking Apps and Programs

In some cases, your ex may download an illicit application onto your phone or install a hidden program on your computer. With this type of stalking app, they may be able to see your phone conversations, text messages, photos, and passwords. Some apps can even turn on your phone’s or computer’s camera or microphone without your knowledge, allowing your ex to listen to or watch you without your permission. Even though you might not see the app icon or know the spyware has been installed, there are a few signs. If your phone’s battery drains faster, if your computer is hard to turn off, or if your data bill is higher than normal, you might want to check for a stalking app or spyware program. 

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Naperville adoption attorneyThe choice to end your marriage and get a divorce is a decision that affects your finances, your relationships with family and friends, and most importantly, yourself. It is a decision most people spend a long time contemplating before they decide to announce that they want to separate from their partner. However, when the time does come to discuss divorce with your partner, you will want to make sure you approach this conversation the right way. Here are a few tips to make this discussion go as smoothly as possible:

Timing Is Important

When you know your relationship is beyond reconciliation, you can make the mature decision to end the relationship and detach yourself from your partner. You will likely want to complete the divorce process as smoothly as possible, ending your marriage without hurting your spouse. When you are ready to let your partner know that you would like to get divorced, choose a time when your partner is capable of receiving such emotional news. If they are stressed at work or are going through personal family problems, try to wait until those difficulties are over. While there is no perfect time to announce a break-up, some times are better than others, and you should consider your partner’s feelings as you determine the ideal time to make the announcement.

Find an Intimate Space

Announcing you want a divorce will probably lead to a lot of questions and deep conversation. When planning for this type of discussion, you do not want to be in a crowded space with a lot of noise or somewhere where your children are likely to be present. Ideally, you should block out time for a long conversation in an appropriate place. If you are participating in couples’ therapy, your therapist’s office can provide a safe place to tell your partner you want a divorce. In addition, the therapist can help guide the discussion in a constructive way and work to create healthy boundaries between you and your partner.

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DuPage County divorce lawyer narcissistic spouseMarriages end for a variety of different reasons, and divorce sometimes occurs because personalities clash and the relationship can no longer survive. In some cases, spouses may be able to work out their differences and end their marriage amicably, but if your ex-partner is a narcissist, you may face challenges in the divorce process.

Narcissism is a mental condition in which someone has a higher than average ego, a need for validation, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissistic people often have very low self-esteem and are sensitive to the tiniest criticisms. If you are planning to end your relationship with a narcissistic spouse, the following tips can help you prepare for the difficulties you may face:

Assemble a Strong Support System

Narcissists are good at charming people and winning them over. During the divorce process, your ex-spouse may attempt to get friends and family members on their side and turn them against you. If you are considering ending your marriage, you should tell people you trust about your plans and, if necessary, share the reasons why your relationship has broken down. This way, if your ex-partner tries to convince them of a different story, they will know the truth. In addition, these people can offer you much-needed support as you deal with the stress of ending your relationship.

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Family structures have changed significantly over the last couple of decades. It used to be that fathers went out and provided for the family while mothers cared for the children and home. Now there are single parent homes, homes where the father stays home, and still others where both parents work. Of course, no single option is really any "better" than another, but studies suggest that these non-traditional roles may be impacting the risk of divorce. Learn more about this phenomena, and how you can protect your family if you believe that divorce may be on the horizon.

Non-Traditional Roles and Divorce

In the recent study, researchers found that women do most or all of the house work in about 11 percent of all marriages, and somewhat more than men in about 60 percent of relationships. Around 25 percent of the couples stated they divided the work down the middle, and around 4 percent claimed the husbands did the majority of the work.

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Mediation and other Alternative Dispute Resolutions (ADRs) have made divorce more affordable and less stressful for many families, which is probably why so many couples use them. However, there is an underlying issue with divorce mediation, and it is one that few rarely consider: though mediation can and does work for some divorces, it is not be the right option for everyone. The following information can help you decide whether you should mediate your divorce, or if litigation is the right path for you.

Mediation versus Litigation

Mediation can reduce the level of contention during a divorce, which can have some serious benefits for those with children. Parents, who are encouraged to compromise and consider the best interests of their child above all else, are less apt to fight about custody. That can make for less stressed parents and an easier adjustment for children. Mediation is also often a faster, less expensive method to divorce, which is helpful for those who have a simplified divorce, similar net values, or are willing to split assets fairly because each party still genuinely still cares about the other.

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