When preparing for a divorce, many people do not want to think about the logistical side of the separation process. A divorce represents a monumental change in a couple’s life, as the two parties will likely face a much different living situation, daily routine, and lifestyle. While the divorce process can be emotional and difficult to process, it is also complicated. As you prepare for your divorce, there are a few steps you should take to ensure that you and your family will be financially comfortable, moving forward.

Find a Divorce Attorney You Can Trust: Once you have made the decision to pursue a divorce, it is time to move forward and begin thinking about all the logistics that come with a separation. The best place to start is by hiring a quality divorce attorney. Choosing an attorney quickly can give you time to prepare for potential court hearings and litigation. When looking for a divorce attorney, it is important to ask yourself a few key questions: How much experience does this firm have? Does my personality work with the prospective attorney? Can I trust them?  

Communicate Your Priorities: Once you have answered the questions above and have chosen an attorney, it is time to get to work. The first step that you can take in working with your attorney is to communicate what assets are most important to you as your divorce case moves forward. Do you own a house that has been in your family for generations? Is a sole-custody parenting plan your number one priority? Communication is key in developing the best working relationship with your attorney.

In many divorce cases, one spouse elects to pursue a divorce based on the poor decisions of the other spouse. Some of the most common reasons for divorce include one spouse having an affair, one spouse recklessly spending money, or one spouse no longer carrying their weight as a parent. Still, in some divorces, both parties believe that separation is the best option for all parties involved. In these cases, a settlement may not be necessary, and a mediation may be the right choice for you and your former spouse.

What is a Mediation?

Mediation is the process in which you and your former-spouse meet with a neutral third-party and work to resolve the biggest issues holding up the finalization of the divorce process. Those most commonly discussed during a mediation include custodial responsibilities, child support payments, allocation of retirement finances, and distribution of property. A mediation is conducted outside the standard court process. When a divorce case is taken to court, in many cases, neither party walks away with what they wanted. A mediation represents a process in which neither party needs to agree until they absolutely want to.

The Benefits and Drawbacks of a Mediation

After you have decided to pursue a divorce, it is important to know the benefits of the strategies you could take during the divorce process. The benefits of a mediation can make a huge difference for you and your family. A mediation represents the opportunity to save money, expedite the divorce process, and work with your former-spouse on developing future agreements that work for all parties involved.

A recent study conducted by a University of Maryland sociology professor, using data from the United States Census Bureau, found that divorce rates have been dropping steadily since 2008. In fact, in the eight-year period between 2008 and 2016, divorce rates have dropped an incredible 18%, nationwide. Yet, in all reality, the declining divorce rate has more to do with a smaller married population than an increase in healthier marriages. It is important to remember that removing yourself from an unhealthy marriage is almost always the best option for you and your family.

Millennials Are Not Marrying Young

Today’s young adult population has seemingly learned from the mistakes of their elders. Millennials are overwhelmingly electing to wait to get married until they are older, a decision that is directly leading to a declining divorce rate nationwide. In past generations, like the “Baby Boomers”, many American couples would marry at a  young age, have children, get divorced, and remarry. Millennials, it seems, are less inclined to marry before they are absolutely ready to do so.

According to the study mentioned above, the declining divorce rate is less about healthier marriages and more about couples from Generation X, as well as millennial couples, refusing to settle into marriages prematurely. The newest generation of young adults have proven to be more inclined to ensure that they are financially comfortable, finished with their academic careers, and firmly entrenched in a stable career path before tying the knot.

Every year, thousands of American couples choose to file for divorce. Divorce can be brought on for a multitude of reasons, but it does create complications in family dynamics. For couples with children, the decision to pursue a divorce can be incredibly difficult. Even more difficult is the conversation that parents must have with their children. If you are considering a divorce, involving your children in the divorce process can be critically important to their emotional development as well as their understanding of their new home life.

Why These Conversations Are Important

Approximately half of all American children will witness the separation of their parents. While divorce oftentimes represents a healthier growing environment in comparison to an unhealthy married household, parents contemplating divorce need to help their children understand why they are separating. Studies conducted have found that children who experience a divorce in the household are more likely to experience depression, decline academically, and struggle with substance abuse. Children who experience a divorce are more than twice as likely to drop out of high school. Even later in life, children of divorce are more likely to experience psychological challenges such as anxiety, loneliness, and insecurity. All that said, a divorce can save a child from experiencing an abusive or dysfunctional home life.

How To Talk To Your Child About Divorce

A divorce can be the best thing for a child’s long-term development if the parental unit no longer makes up a solid parenting foundation, yet it is vitally important to communicate with your child about your divorce. When you decide to inform your children on your decision to get a divorce, it is important to have a plan in place, have the conversation with your spouse, and give your child ample time to process the information.

Here in the state of Illinois, divorce rates have steadily declined since the 1990’s. Still, hundreds of Illinoisans make the difficult decision to divorce from their spouse, every year. Nationwide, thousands of Americans get divorced on an annual basis. These divorces can be brought on by infidelity, unhealthy parenting dynamics, and a lack of love for the spouse. Yet, in many cases, the decision to pursue a divorce is considered due to one issue: the reckless and irresponsible spending of a spouse.

Staying in a relationship with a partner that recklessly spends money, can ultimately compromise the financial security of you and your family. If your partner, is behaving in a financially reckless manner, it may be time to consider contacting a divorce attorney.

Signs That Your Financial Health Is At Risk

Understanding when it is time to make an emotional relationship change based on financial security can be challenging. It is important to know when to get out of a financially reckless relationship before it is too late. If your partner begins making decisions that impact your savings or retirement, is spending large quantities of money without consulting you or is lying to you about the landscape of your financial future, it may be time to consider a divorce. Making the decision to remove yourself from a relationship based on finances, can feel cold, but after all other avenues have been explored, a divorce may be the right, and only, option.